You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
