hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
