Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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