Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
