the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
