I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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