Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
