all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
