why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
