Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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