Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
