I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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