i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
