We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
