He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
