I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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