I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
