bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
