I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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