currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
