i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
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