no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
you made out with another girl for some wings
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
