haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize