I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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