singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
