no, he came in my armpit
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Be still, my beating vagina.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
