well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
