my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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