He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
