im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
