Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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