Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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