You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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