I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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