If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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