these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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