before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
