You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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