come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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