This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
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Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
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I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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