Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
