His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Come on in and take your pants off
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