We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
