The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
