I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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