Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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