I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize