I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
