I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
