Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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