Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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