It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
