Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
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