We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
