Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
