he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize