oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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