I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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