I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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