Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
