i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize