How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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