SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
