I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize