Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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