I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
