thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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