Do you still have your period?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
