why didn't you poke me back
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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