Someone shit on the floor
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
