fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
