My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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