So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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