We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
