I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
