Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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