fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
