I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
